Carpe Natem
Delaney | female | Canada


Hello my name is Delaney and I am way too obsessed with gray goat aliens for my own good

elimin8theimpossible:

cricsyxo:

divinedorothy:

egotastical:

divinedorothy:

bisexual people aren’t more likely to cheat in relationships but we are more likely to cheat at cards, while lesbians are most likely to cheat at jenga, and genderqueer people often cheat at mario kart

how the fuck do you cheat at jenga

ask a lesbian

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this is never not funny

(via thewalkingtoaster)

poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

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today on satan makes a blog post

(via baconqueen42)

genderoftheday:

Todays Gender of the day is: The

genderoftheday:

Todays Gender of the day is: The

(via flanmaru)

ben-c:

this is the most fucking embarrassing post on this entire fucking site please burn it immediately

(via slime-jello)

m-ayu:

m-ayu:

i did a thing

conclusion: everyone is gay and it is very emotional 

guys u all think i’m lying but i can assure u i have never seen free before this is literally the information i’ve gotten from my dash 

(via annie-leonhardt)

slayboybunny:

"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person" 
"oh sorry about that sir" 

(via baconqueen42)

nunfight:

crossestheyrecoolifyoureintothau:

little-miss-lalonde:

MY LITTLE SISTER JUST RAN INTO MY ROOM AND OPENED THE FUCKING WINDOW AND TRIED TO GET OUT BECAUSE MY OTEHR SISTER WAS PLAYING TAG WITH HER AND SHE DIDN’T WANT TO BE IT.

SHE ALMOST JUMPED OUT OF THE SECOND FLOOR SO SHE WOULDNT GET TAGGED 

Now that’s what I call determination

Go big or go home

(Source: undergroundghosts, via swallowherb)

Queuing posts on mobile is a pain in the ass

gamzeehipstersparkles:

Standing around here

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farmin’ all these

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goddamn

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fuckin’

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mushrooms.

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(Source: pfefferihipstersparkles, via eggybert)

dancrisis:

troylerina:

concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

i think we found the opposite of nash grier

I love him already and I don’t even know who he is

that my friends is mazzi maz.

(Source: the90sk-i-d-s, via littleredridingscarf)